Looking Back

I have spent some time over the last few weeks reflecting on the events of 2010 and am amazed at the journey the Lord has taken us on.  So many valleys and mountains we have climbed but the Lord has led all the way. 

We began last year living in Leeds, England working with WEC International, yet eagerly anticipating our move to Zambia, which was planned for March.  Through the challenges of planning another international move we had the excitement of knowing that the Lord wanted us to move to Zambia to work with just a few of the thousands of orphans in that country.  We saw Him move mountains to get us there and gently lead us when we arrived, only to realize after a few short weeks that due to lies and possible corruption we were unable to continue with our partner in the ministry.  Without this partner we couldn't stay in Zambia.  The pain was deep as I grieved over the death of the dream and listened to our children cry as they too dealt with the pain of leaving many desperate children behind.

Upon our return to England I had the joy of surprising my sister as I appeared on her doorstep, while she thought I was still in Zambia.  The look of surprise on her face - priceless.

We struggled through the next few weeks as we sought the Lord as to His direction for our lives.  We had the opportunity to remain in England, return to the States or try to return to Africa.  Wherever we looked we found the door to Africa closed and we knew our decision was between England and America.  After much prayer we were led by God to return to the States, the reason being that in this country we can adopt again - and that is truly the desire of our hearts.

But our return would not be easy as I had to apply for my residency permit to be reinstated.  We applied and waited.

During our wait I had the joy of seeing my 92 year old grandmother just days before she passed away in May, and visit my 98 year old grandmother (who passed away just a few weeks ago). I also treasure the time I was able to spend with my parents, brother and sister and their families and have many great memories.

Then came the almost unbearable challenge of seeing Gary, Daniel and Nicholas board the plane.  God in His goodness didn't let us know ahead of time that our separation would have been as long as it was, otherwise I don't know if I could have said goodbye.

The separation was long and hard, but as I reflect I see the Lord's goodness to us.  He sustained, protected us and gave us wonderful opportunities to teach our children what it meant to trust in the Lord, especially when life doesn't seem to make sense.

I have experienced the discipline of the Lord as we tried so much to hurry the process to get us home only to have the Lord delay the process as we weren't waiting on Him. 

I have experienced the incredible peace that passes all understanding, when I traveled to London for my final interview KNOWING that the Lord was with me.  Then I felt the wrenching bitter sweet emotions as I left my parents and siblings again, yet eagerly anticipating my reunion with my husband and sons.

I have watched the Lord bring my visa earlier than expected and see Him work out the details so that just 40 hours after it arrived we were on a plane headed for Chicago and back in St Louis in time for the girls to sing "Nothing is impossible with God"

I have relaxed in the arms of my husband's embrace after 4 months apart and have learned to appreciate him and our family even more.

I have seen the Lord, provide abundantly for our needs.  We returned to this country with nothing but our suitcases and an additional 150 cubic foot of items we shipped, yet I sit in a home that is fully furnished.  We have asked nobody for anything, but the Lord has been gracious and through the body of Christ He has provided all we have needed.

The biggest lesson I have learned from this past year, I think, is to just wait on the Lord.  I know that sounds so easy, and I still struggle with it because I'm not very patient, BUT I have seen Him at work and know that He will make my paths straight, if I just wait on Him.  Not always will the direction make sense to me, but His ways are always right and in His footsteps I will continue to walk.



Michelle