Finances - who has not struggled with this one? I definitely have.
When I accepted my life here, in America, I also wanted to accept, and obtain, the ‘American Dream’. I wanted a bigger home, vacations, more money. There is no other way around it but to acknowledge that I didn't (and don't) need those things. My desires were based in envy, I saw what others had and wanted it. I was sinning. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that. Wow! It amazes me every time I read that verse to realize how much God has given me and how rich I am. We, in the industrialized world want and expect God to provide so much. We need to be content with little and when we receive much we need to ask God why he has blessed us so abundantly and how does he want us to be good stewards of it. John Piper (in his book Desiring God) suggests that we adopt a wartime lifestyle, because as Christians we are at war. It is a spiritual war. Piper goes on to suggest that God gives us more so we can use our excess to fund God’s work.
While God has brought me a long way in my desire to be content with less I still have a long way to go and often find myself slipping back into discontentment as I desire what I see around me. I wish I had the courage and faith to pray like Agur did in Proverbs 30:8-9 "Two things I ask of you, O Lord, do not refuse me before I die. Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say “Who is the Lord?” Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."
I know from my own experience that when I have had plenty I am tempted and often do stray from God, yet when I am in need I cling close to Him as a child who is desperate for their Father to provide. There is nothing like being in a situation where you are about to lose everything or where you don’t have enough food to feed your family to bring you back to God. The best part of all is that God is always faithful and always provides what we need (NOT always what we want).
About 3 years ago God starting changing our attitudes toward money and possessions. Gary had owned his own business for several years, but was slowly becoming more and more discontent, not because of a lack of money but he was thinking there had to be more to this Christian life than what he was doing at the time. He began to believe that God was calling him to serve Him in someway, but the concern kept arising of how to provide for the family. The Lord led him to Matt 6:31-33 "So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and you heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Gary knew that the Lord had a lot to teach him through these verses, but neither of us were quite ready for the changes that would follow.
So far the Lord has led us on an incredible journey and I am sure there is so much more ahead. One of my favorite verses in the bible is 2 Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him". This has certainly been true in our lives. This is not the place to go into detail about the amazing way God led us to join WEC (the mission organization we will be go to England with) except to say that you can find it on the left column of this page under “The Call”.
One of the things that the Lord used to lead us this direction was Christian biographies. We both read the biographies of George Mueller and Brother Andrew. I also read a book from Voice of the Martyrs about women in the last 20 years who have suffered for Christ. All these books really made Gary and I examine our lives. We became very discontented with the ‘normal’ life and now long to serve God. I want to make my life count for Christ. It isn’t easy leaving people I love, and a place I now call home. Some believe that we are leaving here so Gary can take me home. That is certainly not the case. When Gary told me we were going to England I cried. I didn’t want to go. If God was going to send us into missions, why couldn't we go somewhere different, somewhere new? It will be nice to be closer to my family again but, I no longer call England home as the country has changed so much in the last 15 years. I left there a single girl and return, to a totally different part of the country, a married woman with 6 kids. I don’t know how to live in England anymore. Even my Mum warns me about how much the country has changed and how I will experience culture shock.
I want to be obedient to God but have struggled coming to terms with leaving. I had life easy here. We owned a home on 38 acres (or at least shared ownership with the bank), Gary had the flexibility of his own business, we had two vehicles and more importantly a great church and wonderful friends. We no longer own our home, gave the business away, sold the truck and are preparing to leave church, family and friends, But God never said it would be easy. I have to constantly remind myself that I do not need to store up treasures (especially money and possessions) here, but treasures in Heaven, where they will last for eternity.
One of the books that has recently challenged me is “Hard to Believe’ by John MacArthur. In this book he really made me see that the Christian life is not just about calling Jesus our Saviour and then living life for ourselves. The words of Jesus from Mark 8:34-38 made me decide I want to be obedient to Christ, no matter what He calls me to do or how hard it is.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels" Mark 8:34-38
Part 4 Conclusion - tomorrow
Michelle
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