So how is God working in our lives? After 16 years of making our home at First Baptist Church of Fenton growing, learning, and being prepared for service, we believe God is moving us on to be a part of another local Church.
We weren't unhappy at Fenton or looking for another church so let me explain how this came about. Back in June we went to a Homeschool conference where I met a man who was getting ready to go to the mission field. He told me about his church and how they have at least 8 people preparing to go to the mission field. This is a large amount considering the church only has a membership of 128. A few days later Michelle looked at the church's website and told me that a missionary (who we know and have been praying for) was going to be there to speak at their Men's fellowship. I told her that I wanted to go to hear how his work is going but would be more comfortable if we visited on a Sunday and got to know a couple of people instead of just turning up at the breakfast. When we visited that Sunday we discovered that due to scheduling conflicts the missionary was not going to be at the Men's fellowship but he would be there for the Sunday service the following week. I told Michelle we have to come back next Sunday to see Him - it had been at least 3 years since I had seen him. He had no idea that I was going to be there and I enjoyed surprising him.
So, why does this lead us to move our membership? By our second visit to the church God was stirring our hearts for the work He is doing there (don't take this to mean that He is not working at our church) by showing us how He has been preparing us to be a part of that work. We left that Sunday saying to one another, what is God doing? What does all of this mean? What is He wanting us to do? We spent time praying about it - seeking Him for understanding and wisdom. After some weeks of prayer we knew what He was asking us to do - to move our membership, leave the people we love, to step out of our comfort zone again and follow Him.
This is hard! We have to make new friends, get to know new people. I personally hate this, in most cases I am quiet and I find conversation with new people very difficult because I just don't know how to talk to someone I don't know. I know it shouldn't be this hard but for me it is. In some situations I get extremely tongue tied because I just don't think fast enough as to what to say. I have been noticing it a lot lately. In these cases I end up not saying anything and walking away feeling inadequate and will continue to think about the situation for quite a while afterwards.
So, we are leaving First Baptist Church of Fenton for the next adventure of our lives. We are being obedient to our Father in Heaven "to go". This doesn't mean that we won't see many of you, we will. We are not leaving Saint Louis. We will continue to be in contact with you but we have to follow as we believe the Lord is leading.
In Christ,
Gary
Next post will be pictures of our trip to Haiti last week
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Sorry!
We said in February I'm back but have only posted about 5 time since then. Sorry! We do want to keep going with the blog but we need something we can write about. We feel life in general is not enough, we want to show how God is at work. Well, God has been at work in our lives. We are waiting upon Him until we actually know what it is He is calling us to do - we are not sure of this completely. We will post something tomorrow to explain one step that God has had us take recently. Stay tuned!
Gary
Gary
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A Missionary Call
Robert E. Speer
What constitutes a missionary call? It is a good sign that men ask this question. First, because it suggests that they think of the missionary enterprise as singularly related to the will of God. Second, because it indicates that they believe their lives are owned by a Person who has a right to direct them and whose call they must await.
But when we have said these two things, I think we have said everything that can be said in favor of the question because, far too often, it is asked for thoroughly un-Christian reasons.
For instance, Christians will pursue a profession here in the United States having demanded far less positive assurance that this is God's will than it is for them to go out into the mission field. But by what right do they make such distinctions? Christianity contends that the whole of life and all services are to be consecrated; no man should dare to do anything but the will of God. And before he adopts a course of action, a man should know nothing less nor more than that it is God's will for him to pursue it.
If men are going to draw lines of division between different kinds of service, what preposterous reasoning leads them to think that it requires less divine sanction for a man to spend his life easily among Christians than it requires for him to go out as a missionary to the heathen? If men are to have special calls for anything, they ought to have special calls to go about their own business, to have a nice time all their lives, to choose the soft places, to make money, and to gratify their own ambitions.
How can any honest Christian say he must have a special call not to do that sort of thing? How can he say that, unless he gets some specific call of God to preach the Gospel to the heathen, he has a perfect right to spend his life lining his pockets with money? Is it not absurd to suggest that a special call is necessary to become a missionary, but no call is required to gratify his own will or personal ambitions?
There is a general obligation resting upon Christians to see that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is preached to the world. You and I need no special call to apply that general call of God to our lives. We do need a special call to exempt us from its application to our lives. In other words, every one of us stands under a presumptive obligation to give his life to the world unless we have some special exemption.
This whole business of asking for special calls to missionary work does violence to the Bible. There is the command, "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." We say, "That means other people." There is the promise, "Come unto Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." We say, "That means me." We must have a special divine indication that we fall under the command; we do not ask any special divine indication that we fall under the blessing. By what right do we draw this line of distinction between the obligations of Christianity and its privileges? By what right to we accept the privileges as applying to every Christian and relegate its obligations to the conscience of the few?
It does violence to the ordinary canons of common sense and honest judgment. We do not think of ordering other areas of our lives on this basis. I think ex-president Patton of Princeton was representing the situation accurately when he used the following illustration. He said, "Imagine I was employed by the owner of a vineyard to gather grapes in his vineyard. The general instructions were that as many grapes as possible should be gathered. I went down to the gate of the vineyard and found the area around the walls well plucked and the ground covered with pickers. Yet away off in the distance no pickers at all are in sight and the vines are loaded to the ground. Would I need a special visit and order from the owner of the vineyard to instruct me as to my duty?"
If I were standing by the bank of a stream, and some little children were drowning, I would not need any officer of the law to come along and serve on me some legal paper commanding me under such and such a penalty to rescue those children. I should despise myself if I should stand there with the possibility of saving those little lives, waiting until, by some legal proceeding, I was personally designated to rescue them!
Why do we apply, in a matter of infinitely more consequence, principles that we would loathe and abhor if anybody should suggest that we should apply them in the practical affairs of our daily life? Listen for a moment to the wail of the hungry world. Feel for one hour its sufferings. Sympathize for one moment with its woes. And then regard it just as you would regard human want in your neighbor, or the want that you meet as you pass down the street, or anywhere in life.
There is something wonderfully misleading, full of hallucination and delusion in this business of missionary calls. With many of us it is not a missionary call at all that we are looking for; it is a shove. There are a great many of us who would never hear a call if it came. Somebody must come and coerce us before we will go into missionary work.
Every one of us rests under a sort of general obligation to give life and time and possession to the evangelization of the souls everywhere that have never heard of Jesus Christ. And we are bound to go, unless we can offer some sure ground of exemption which we could with a clear conscience present to Jesus Christ and be sure of His approval upon it. "Well," you ask, "do you mean, then, that I should take my life in my own hands?" No! That is precisely what I am protesting against! That is exactly what we have done. We have taken our lives in our own hands and proposed to go our own way unless God compels us to go some other way. What I ask is that, until God reveals to us some special, individual path on either side, we should give our lives over into Jesus' hands to go in that path which He has clearly marked out before His church.
I want to say one last thing.
I think love will hear calls where the loveless heart will not know that they are sounding. If there were a hundred little children crying, a mother would be able to pick out the voices of her own - especially if they were voices of pain and suffering.
There is a mighty keenness in the ears of love, and I wonder, after all, whether that may not explain a great deal that one is perplexed over in this matter of a special missionary call. Is it possible that, in many cases, it is just a matter of a callused heart, a reluctant will, or a sealed mind?
God so loved the world that He gave. It was need in the world plus love in God that constituted a call for Jesus. Do we need more than what sufficed for Him? If they were our own, would we hesitate and hold back?
Let us lay aside all double-dealing, all moral subterfuge, all those shuffling evasions by which the Devil is attempting to persuade us to escape from our duty, and let us get up like men and look at it and do it.
Students are old enough to decide to do their duty. They are old enough to decide to go to college. They are old enough to decide for law and medicine and other professions. They are old enough, too, to decide this question. God forbid that we should try to hide from solemn consideration of our vital duty behind any kind of pretext.
What constitutes a missionary call? It is a good sign that men ask this question. First, because it suggests that they think of the missionary enterprise as singularly related to the will of God. Second, because it indicates that they believe their lives are owned by a Person who has a right to direct them and whose call they must await.
But when we have said these two things, I think we have said everything that can be said in favor of the question because, far too often, it is asked for thoroughly un-Christian reasons.
For instance, Christians will pursue a profession here in the United States having demanded far less positive assurance that this is God's will than it is for them to go out into the mission field. But by what right do they make such distinctions? Christianity contends that the whole of life and all services are to be consecrated; no man should dare to do anything but the will of God. And before he adopts a course of action, a man should know nothing less nor more than that it is God's will for him to pursue it.
If men are going to draw lines of division between different kinds of service, what preposterous reasoning leads them to think that it requires less divine sanction for a man to spend his life easily among Christians than it requires for him to go out as a missionary to the heathen? If men are to have special calls for anything, they ought to have special calls to go about their own business, to have a nice time all their lives, to choose the soft places, to make money, and to gratify their own ambitions.
How can any honest Christian say he must have a special call not to do that sort of thing? How can he say that, unless he gets some specific call of God to preach the Gospel to the heathen, he has a perfect right to spend his life lining his pockets with money? Is it not absurd to suggest that a special call is necessary to become a missionary, but no call is required to gratify his own will or personal ambitions?
There is a general obligation resting upon Christians to see that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is preached to the world. You and I need no special call to apply that general call of God to our lives. We do need a special call to exempt us from its application to our lives. In other words, every one of us stands under a presumptive obligation to give his life to the world unless we have some special exemption.
This whole business of asking for special calls to missionary work does violence to the Bible. There is the command, "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." We say, "That means other people." There is the promise, "Come unto Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." We say, "That means me." We must have a special divine indication that we fall under the command; we do not ask any special divine indication that we fall under the blessing. By what right do we draw this line of distinction between the obligations of Christianity and its privileges? By what right to we accept the privileges as applying to every Christian and relegate its obligations to the conscience of the few?
It does violence to the ordinary canons of common sense and honest judgment. We do not think of ordering other areas of our lives on this basis. I think ex-president Patton of Princeton was representing the situation accurately when he used the following illustration. He said, "Imagine I was employed by the owner of a vineyard to gather grapes in his vineyard. The general instructions were that as many grapes as possible should be gathered. I went down to the gate of the vineyard and found the area around the walls well plucked and the ground covered with pickers. Yet away off in the distance no pickers at all are in sight and the vines are loaded to the ground. Would I need a special visit and order from the owner of the vineyard to instruct me as to my duty?"
If I were standing by the bank of a stream, and some little children were drowning, I would not need any officer of the law to come along and serve on me some legal paper commanding me under such and such a penalty to rescue those children. I should despise myself if I should stand there with the possibility of saving those little lives, waiting until, by some legal proceeding, I was personally designated to rescue them!
Why do we apply, in a matter of infinitely more consequence, principles that we would loathe and abhor if anybody should suggest that we should apply them in the practical affairs of our daily life? Listen for a moment to the wail of the hungry world. Feel for one hour its sufferings. Sympathize for one moment with its woes. And then regard it just as you would regard human want in your neighbor, or the want that you meet as you pass down the street, or anywhere in life.
There is something wonderfully misleading, full of hallucination and delusion in this business of missionary calls. With many of us it is not a missionary call at all that we are looking for; it is a shove. There are a great many of us who would never hear a call if it came. Somebody must come and coerce us before we will go into missionary work.
Every one of us rests under a sort of general obligation to give life and time and possession to the evangelization of the souls everywhere that have never heard of Jesus Christ. And we are bound to go, unless we can offer some sure ground of exemption which we could with a clear conscience present to Jesus Christ and be sure of His approval upon it. "Well," you ask, "do you mean, then, that I should take my life in my own hands?" No! That is precisely what I am protesting against! That is exactly what we have done. We have taken our lives in our own hands and proposed to go our own way unless God compels us to go some other way. What I ask is that, until God reveals to us some special, individual path on either side, we should give our lives over into Jesus' hands to go in that path which He has clearly marked out before His church.
I want to say one last thing.
I think love will hear calls where the loveless heart will not know that they are sounding. If there were a hundred little children crying, a mother would be able to pick out the voices of her own - especially if they were voices of pain and suffering.
There is a mighty keenness in the ears of love, and I wonder, after all, whether that may not explain a great deal that one is perplexed over in this matter of a special missionary call. Is it possible that, in many cases, it is just a matter of a callused heart, a reluctant will, or a sealed mind?
God so loved the world that He gave. It was need in the world plus love in God that constituted a call for Jesus. Do we need more than what sufficed for Him? If they were our own, would we hesitate and hold back?
Let us lay aside all double-dealing, all moral subterfuge, all those shuffling evasions by which the Devil is attempting to persuade us to escape from our duty, and let us get up like men and look at it and do it.
Students are old enough to decide to do their duty. They are old enough to decide to go to college. They are old enough to decide for law and medicine and other professions. They are old enough, too, to decide this question. God forbid that we should try to hide from solemn consideration of our vital duty behind any kind of pretext.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Working at an Orphanage in Port au Prince
Gary spent his afternoon working at Faith Hope Love Infant Rescue in Port au Prince. He fixed several things around the orphanage, but probably the most important was the dryer. Can you imagine caring for 26 children and not having a working dryer. The director was very excited when Gary managed to get it running again.
Tomorrow he gets to experience a trip to the hardware store to pick up supplies which will enable him to fix more around the orphanage, school and guest house.
Thank you for your prayers for him. The Lord is keeping well and has allowed him to accomplish much in the last two days.
Michelle
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Haiti
Yesterday Gary traveled to Haiti.
His purpose is to use the construction/maintenance talents that God has given him to help the body of Christ who are actively sharing the gospel with others.
During this visit most of his time will be spent working at a guest house for missionaries who need a safe place to stay while in the city. The owner has a list of projects for him which, among other things, includes installing a water heater and trouble shooting an electrical problem.
We would appreciate your prayers for him and the work he is doing. Please pray that the Lord would allow him to accomplish much during this week. Also, that the Lord would guide him as he looks for places/opportunities where he (and others) may be able to serve in the future.
Thanks
Michelle
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Nicholas to the Rescue
I looked out of the kitchen window to see Nicholas hanging from a tree. I went out to see what he was up to and discovered he was being Naomi's hero. She had let her balloon go and Nicholas wanted to retrieve it for her.
As he got closer to the top, my mother's heart was crying out to 'be careful' and 'come back down, it's not worth getting hurt just for a balloon', but ... I was able to keep silent and let my boy act like a young man and do something heroic for his sister.
Thankfully, the mission was successful. The balloon was rescued, Nicholas was safe and he became a hero in his sister's eyes.
As he got closer to the top, my mother's heart was crying out to 'be careful' and 'come back down, it's not worth getting hurt just for a balloon', but ... I was able to keep silent and let my boy act like a young man and do something heroic for his sister.
Thankfully, the mission was successful. The balloon was rescued, Nicholas was safe and he became a hero in his sister's eyes.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Looking Back
I have spent some time over the last few weeks reflecting on the events of 2010 and am amazed at the journey the Lord has taken us on. So many valleys and mountains we have climbed but the Lord has led all the way.
We began last year living in Leeds, England working with WEC International, yet eagerly anticipating our move to Zambia, which was planned for March. Through the challenges of planning another international move we had the excitement of knowing that the Lord wanted us to move to Zambia to work with just a few of the thousands of orphans in that country. We saw Him move mountains to get us there and gently lead us when we arrived, only to realize after a few short weeks that due to lies and possible corruption we were unable to continue with our partner in the ministry. Without this partner we couldn't stay in Zambia. The pain was deep as I grieved over the death of the dream and listened to our children cry as they too dealt with the pain of leaving many desperate children behind.
Upon our return to England I had the joy of surprising my sister as I appeared on her doorstep, while she thought I was still in Zambia. The look of surprise on her face - priceless.
We struggled through the next few weeks as we sought the Lord as to His direction for our lives. We had the opportunity to remain in England, return to the States or try to return to Africa. Wherever we looked we found the door to Africa closed and we knew our decision was between England and America. After much prayer we were led by God to return to the States, the reason being that in this country we can adopt again - and that is truly the desire of our hearts.
But our return would not be easy as I had to apply for my residency permit to be reinstated. We applied and waited.
During our wait I had the joy of seeing my 92 year old grandmother just days before she passed away in May, and visit my 98 year old grandmother (who passed away just a few weeks ago). I also treasure the time I was able to spend with my parents, brother and sister and their families and have many great memories.
Then came the almost unbearable challenge of seeing Gary, Daniel and Nicholas board the plane. God in His goodness didn't let us know ahead of time that our separation would have been as long as it was, otherwise I don't know if I could have said goodbye.
The separation was long and hard, but as I reflect I see the Lord's goodness to us. He sustained, protected us and gave us wonderful opportunities to teach our children what it meant to trust in the Lord, especially when life doesn't seem to make sense.
I have experienced the discipline of the Lord as we tried so much to hurry the process to get us home only to have the Lord delay the process as we weren't waiting on Him.
I have experienced the incredible peace that passes all understanding, when I traveled to London for my final interview KNOWING that the Lord was with me. Then I felt the wrenching bitter sweet emotions as I left my parents and siblings again, yet eagerly anticipating my reunion with my husband and sons.
I have watched the Lord bring my visa earlier than expected and see Him work out the details so that just 40 hours after it arrived we were on a plane headed for Chicago and back in St Louis in time for the girls to sing "Nothing is impossible with God"
I have relaxed in the arms of my husband's embrace after 4 months apart and have learned to appreciate him and our family even more.
I have seen the Lord, provide abundantly for our needs. We returned to this country with nothing but our suitcases and an additional 150 cubic foot of items we shipped, yet I sit in a home that is fully furnished. We have asked nobody for anything, but the Lord has been gracious and through the body of Christ He has provided all we have needed.
The biggest lesson I have learned from this past year, I think, is to just wait on the Lord. I know that sounds so easy, and I still struggle with it because I'm not very patient, BUT I have seen Him at work and know that He will make my paths straight, if I just wait on Him. Not always will the direction make sense to me, but His ways are always right and in His footsteps I will continue to walk.
Michelle
We began last year living in Leeds, England working with WEC International, yet eagerly anticipating our move to Zambia, which was planned for March. Through the challenges of planning another international move we had the excitement of knowing that the Lord wanted us to move to Zambia to work with just a few of the thousands of orphans in that country. We saw Him move mountains to get us there and gently lead us when we arrived, only to realize after a few short weeks that due to lies and possible corruption we were unable to continue with our partner in the ministry. Without this partner we couldn't stay in Zambia. The pain was deep as I grieved over the death of the dream and listened to our children cry as they too dealt with the pain of leaving many desperate children behind.
Upon our return to England I had the joy of surprising my sister as I appeared on her doorstep, while she thought I was still in Zambia. The look of surprise on her face - priceless.
We struggled through the next few weeks as we sought the Lord as to His direction for our lives. We had the opportunity to remain in England, return to the States or try to return to Africa. Wherever we looked we found the door to Africa closed and we knew our decision was between England and America. After much prayer we were led by God to return to the States, the reason being that in this country we can adopt again - and that is truly the desire of our hearts.
But our return would not be easy as I had to apply for my residency permit to be reinstated. We applied and waited.
During our wait I had the joy of seeing my 92 year old grandmother just days before she passed away in May, and visit my 98 year old grandmother (who passed away just a few weeks ago). I also treasure the time I was able to spend with my parents, brother and sister and their families and have many great memories.
Then came the almost unbearable challenge of seeing Gary, Daniel and Nicholas board the plane. God in His goodness didn't let us know ahead of time that our separation would have been as long as it was, otherwise I don't know if I could have said goodbye.
The separation was long and hard, but as I reflect I see the Lord's goodness to us. He sustained, protected us and gave us wonderful opportunities to teach our children what it meant to trust in the Lord, especially when life doesn't seem to make sense.
I have experienced the discipline of the Lord as we tried so much to hurry the process to get us home only to have the Lord delay the process as we weren't waiting on Him.
I have experienced the incredible peace that passes all understanding, when I traveled to London for my final interview KNOWING that the Lord was with me. Then I felt the wrenching bitter sweet emotions as I left my parents and siblings again, yet eagerly anticipating my reunion with my husband and sons.
I have watched the Lord bring my visa earlier than expected and see Him work out the details so that just 40 hours after it arrived we were on a plane headed for Chicago and back in St Louis in time for the girls to sing "Nothing is impossible with God"
I have relaxed in the arms of my husband's embrace after 4 months apart and have learned to appreciate him and our family even more.
I have seen the Lord, provide abundantly for our needs. We returned to this country with nothing but our suitcases and an additional 150 cubic foot of items we shipped, yet I sit in a home that is fully furnished. We have asked nobody for anything, but the Lord has been gracious and through the body of Christ He has provided all we have needed.
The biggest lesson I have learned from this past year, I think, is to just wait on the Lord. I know that sounds so easy, and I still struggle with it because I'm not very patient, BUT I have seen Him at work and know that He will make my paths straight, if I just wait on Him. Not always will the direction make sense to me, but His ways are always right and in His footsteps I will continue to walk.
Michelle
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Christian Beliefs Harmful to Children!!!!
Monday was a very sad day for Christians and foster children in Britain as a High Court judge ruled that a Christian couple could not become foster parents because their religious beliefs on sexual matters may be hostile to children. The High Court took into consideration a recommendation from the Equality and Human Rights Commission which suggested that children should not be infected with Christian moral beliefs
Can you believe it? Can it really be bad for children to be taught what the Bible says on these matters???!!!
You can read about the case here.
The Christian Legal Centre responded with these words
"The Law has been increasingly interpreted by Judges in a way that favours homosexual rights over freedom of conscience. Significant areas of public life are now becoming out of bounds for Christians who do not want to compromise their beliefs. If Christian morals are harmful to children and unacceptable to the State, then how many years do we have before natural children start being taken away from Christians?"
So how should we react to this distressing news? To say 'never mind' or 'someone else can foster and adopt these children'? May that NEVER be!!
Let us go to our knees, repent before our Father in Heaven for the sins of our nations.
'if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.' 2 Chronicles 7:14
And while we still have the opportunity in America, let us foster and adopt before the door is closed to us too. Let us show Christ's love to these children while we still have the opportunity to do so!!!
Michelle
Can you believe it? Can it really be bad for children to be taught what the Bible says on these matters???!!!
You can read about the case here.
The Christian Legal Centre responded with these words
"The Law has been increasingly interpreted by Judges in a way that favours homosexual rights over freedom of conscience. Significant areas of public life are now becoming out of bounds for Christians who do not want to compromise their beliefs. If Christian morals are harmful to children and unacceptable to the State, then how many years do we have before natural children start being taken away from Christians?"
So how should we react to this distressing news? To say 'never mind' or 'someone else can foster and adopt these children'? May that NEVER be!!
Let us go to our knees, repent before our Father in Heaven for the sins of our nations.
'if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.' 2 Chronicles 7:14
And while we still have the opportunity in America, let us foster and adopt before the door is closed to us too. Let us show Christ's love to these children while we still have the opportunity to do so!!!
Michelle
Monday, February 28, 2011
I'm Back
After an absence of almost 4 months I have decided to return to the blog. I have seriously considered letting it lapse totally, but over the last few weeks I have had several people contact us - wanting to know what is going on and what we are up to.
After prayer and much thought I have decided to write again and here are my reasons why.
Firstly, to have an opportunity to publicly give God the glory for the great things He has done (and will continue to do) and secondly, to keep family and friends (now around the world) updated on what's going on in the life of the Northcutt family.
I cannot promise how regular my posts will be (or how interesting!) but when there is news or a picture that is just to cute to keep to ourselves - I will share with you. So keep watching as the first installment will be posted in a day or two.
Thank you to all that have held us in your prayers over the last few months - they have been much appreciated.
Michelle
After prayer and much thought I have decided to write again and here are my reasons why.
Firstly, to have an opportunity to publicly give God the glory for the great things He has done (and will continue to do) and secondly, to keep family and friends (now around the world) updated on what's going on in the life of the Northcutt family.
I cannot promise how regular my posts will be (or how interesting!) but when there is news or a picture that is just to cute to keep to ourselves - I will share with you. So keep watching as the first installment will be posted in a day or two.
Thank you to all that have held us in your prayers over the last few months - they have been much appreciated.
Michelle
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Belated Birthday Celebrations
Deanna and Elaina's birthdays were about 6 weeks ago and normally we take the kids out for a treat to celebrate their birthday, but because we were still living on different continents the girls decided to wait until we were together again before we celebrated.
So, last week, armed with coupons and camera, we went to Chuck E Cheese. What a joy it was to watch the kids enjoying each others company again.
So, last week, armed with coupons and camera, we went to Chuck E Cheese. What a joy it was to watch the kids enjoying each others company again.
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Gift of Grief
"You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary;
the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people.
Praise be to God!"
Psalm 68:35
I stood there with the envelope in my hand, excited. The stamp on the front told me that this was the letter I had been waiting for, from our attorney. I was expecting it to be the finalization date for our adoption of baby Luke, but as I read the contents I couldn’t have been more wrong. I stood for a second in total shock then sank to the floor and sobbed like a young child. How could God let this happen to us?
Six months prior Luke wasn’t even a possibility, we didn’t go looking for a private adoption or even necessarily want one, yet one Wednesday evening in early September 1998 God brought us and Luke together. I was sitting in a classroom at church and someone was asking me about how we were getting along with our foster/adoption classes. At the same time another woman walked passed and overheard part of the conversation, she entered the room asking who was going to adopt. I filled her in on our desire to foster and hopefully adopt a baby through the Missouri foster care system. She looked amazed and proceeded to tell me that she had just been told that her friend’s daughter was eight months pregnant and she had just decided to give her baby up for adoption. The woman asked if we would be interested in adopting that child.
I was speechless. How do you respond to a question like that? I told her I would talk to Gary and get back to her.
My journey home that night was full of emotion, mainly excitement as I dared to dream that this could possibly be happening to us, yet trying to be realistic in knowing that nothing had been decided either by us or the birthmother. After discussing the situation with Gary we decided to go ahead and see if the Lord would bring this together. The following week we met with Luke’s birthmother, and grandmother and they decided to let us have the privilege of being his parents.
Then, just 9 days after we first heard about Luke, I received the call to let me know his mother was in labor. We made it to the hospital just a few minutes after he was born. The hospital staff were incredible as they let me stay in a spare room with Luke through the night so I could feed him and attend to his needs. Words cannot describe how it felt to hold our son. Our child who we did not even know we were expecting. God had done an amazing thing to bring us together and we happily told everyone about His goodness.
When Luke was 6 weeks old and sleeping through the night, we decided we were ready to put our names down on the waiting list for a foster child. Little did we know just 2 weeks later we would receive 8 day old Daniel into our home. He came to us as a foster placement, which meant we were working with the agency to try to return him to his birth mother. While we did love Daniel, we held part of our hearts, in protection, knowing that he may one day be leaving us.
But Luke, he was ours. Or so we thought. In Missouri a child has to be in your home for six months before the adoption can be finalized so the letter we received in February 1999 was supposed to be the finalization date. Instead the words in the letter that had me on the floor sobbing, were telling me that someone had come forward and claimed to be Luke’s biological father. This man wanted his son. Could we possibly loose our child?
So on February 27th 1999 I took Luke to get a DNA test to validate this man’s claim. We had to wait 2 long weeks for the results. During the waiting period we kept praying and hoping that Luke would be able to stay. We told ourselves that God wouldn’t bring us together as a family just to tear us apart. Would He? As I listened on the phone, the results were obvious to those in the room. My tears fell as I heard that Luke was this man’s son. How Lord, how is this possible? Why did You let this happen?
Our hearts were so heavy the next day as we prepared to give Luke to his biological father. I cannot begin to describe the pain as we sat, holding our son for the last time, saying goodbye. As it came time for him to leave Gary took him from my arms, carried to the car and placed him in his car seat for the last time. Gary returned to the house and cried with me – we had lost our son and our hearts were broken.
The following weeks and months were hard but I cannot stop the story here as this is not a story about pain but of joy and hope as the Lord restores the brokenhearted. And that is just what the Lord did, in time. But before we were restored we needed to walk though the valley of grief, of not understanding, but still trusting in our Heavenly Father.
The case of the orphan is a passion that the Lord has placed in our lives and we do what we can to help others take care of the least of these and over the years I have spent time encouraging others to adopt or foster. The most common excuse I hear from people as a reason not to foster is this: “I couldn’t do it because it would be too hard to give them back”. Have you ever thought that?
This is where I realize that through our experience with Luke I can honestly turn to these people and tell them “Yes, if you do your job right and love these children like God wants you to, you will hurt, BUT God does heal.” James 1:27 does not tell us to “take care of the widows and orphans in their distress … and you will never experience pain”. We, the body of Christ, are commanded to take care of the widows and orphans. Period. No excuses!! It does not matter if we are called to take care of and love a child for a week, a year or a lifetime. We need to do it and take the opportunity we have, while they are in our home, to show them the love of Jesus. Fostering and/or adopting are incredible opportunities to reach the hurting children of this world for Christ.
If we do our job right, and love them, if and when they leave, we will hurt. But I am so grateful for the gift of grief we experienced, because through that I know that neither I nor you have to live in fear of the pain, but delight in the One who I know will heal.
Michelle
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Moving
Please forgive my absence from the blog, but between moving and having internet issues, this past week has been crazy!!!
Last Tuesday we signed the lease for the house and then Wednesday and Thursday we moved. It took a couple of days as we were moving with only one trailer and had to collect furniture from several different places. I am so grateful to the Lord for the beautiful weather He gave us which made it so much easier.
As we arrived at the house with the first load we piled everything into one room then Gary and the boys left to get another load while the girls and I cleaned the house. It wasn't hard to clean but it was pretty dirty as no one (except the mice) had lived here since we moved out almost 2 years ago.
I am so proud of our children who worked really hard to move all the boxes and furniture.
Slowly we are unpacking and finding a place for everything. This is taking a while as we have also started schooling this week - which is a challenge in itself when you can't find all the books you are looking for!!
We are truly grateful to our families who have given us places to live this year, but this is the first time since we left for Zambia in March, that we have a home to call our own - and it feels good!!! The kids have really enjoyed being in a place where they can make as much noise as they like (well as much as I can tolerate!!) and have their things around them again as they haven't had many of their toys since we prepared them for shipping 8 months ago.
I also want to thank our Church family as they have welcomed us back so warmly. We have had several that have given us items for the home and in the 10 days which we have been here I have only had to cook dinner twice as several have either had us over for dinner or brought dinner to us. That has been so appreciated, especially during our move when I had no idea where any pots or pans were!!
So, it's back to sorting out the home, but I will be back with more posts over the next few days.
Michelle
Last Tuesday we signed the lease for the house and then Wednesday and Thursday we moved. It took a couple of days as we were moving with only one trailer and had to collect furniture from several different places. I am so grateful to the Lord for the beautiful weather He gave us which made it so much easier.
As we arrived at the house with the first load we piled everything into one room then Gary and the boys left to get another load while the girls and I cleaned the house. It wasn't hard to clean but it was pretty dirty as no one (except the mice) had lived here since we moved out almost 2 years ago.
I am so proud of our children who worked really hard to move all the boxes and furniture.
Slowly we are unpacking and finding a place for everything. This is taking a while as we have also started schooling this week - which is a challenge in itself when you can't find all the books you are looking for!!
We are truly grateful to our families who have given us places to live this year, but this is the first time since we left for Zambia in March, that we have a home to call our own - and it feels good!!! The kids have really enjoyed being in a place where they can make as much noise as they like (well as much as I can tolerate!!) and have their things around them again as they haven't had many of their toys since we prepared them for shipping 8 months ago.
I also want to thank our Church family as they have welcomed us back so warmly. We have had several that have given us items for the home and in the 10 days which we have been here I have only had to cook dinner twice as several have either had us over for dinner or brought dinner to us. That has been so appreciated, especially during our move when I had no idea where any pots or pans were!!
So, it's back to sorting out the home, but I will be back with more posts over the next few days.
Michelle
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The Journey
As I mentioned the other day, our journey home was incredible. We left my parents house just after 3am on Friday morning. The kids were really boggled by the idea that we were up so early while the rest of the country was still sleeping! We arrived at Heathrow in record time (mainly because it was so early) and were standing in line at the American Airline counter by 4.40am.
I was a little concerned that we could be standing, waiting for hours but within a minute of us arriving in the line the security check points were set up and we were moving through. American Airlines opened up their check-in desks at 5am. One of the reasons we went so early was to try and sort out the seating situation. Because we had bought 5 of the last 6 seats on the flight our seats were spread throughout the plane. I asked the lady at the check in if we could sit together and she assured me that would be sorted out by the time we reached the departure gate.
Next, we moved through security and were sitting down in the departure lounge, eating breakfast by 5.35 am. We still had over 3 hours before the departure gate would open so the kids either napped, read or played with Lego (we have learnt to take a carry on case full of Lego whenever we fly - helps to pass the time)
At 8.55 our gate opened up and we wondered over. It was wonderful to have plenty of time and not be rushed to get anywhere. Upon arrival at the gate we discovered our seats were now together, but it wasn't until we boarded we realized the gift we had been given - we had the front row of seats in the coach section, so there was no one in front of us! I didn't have to worry about the kids knocking the seats in front and we had the freedom to move about and stretch out. I did feel a little guilty when my 5ft 4in frame couldn't stretch far enough to fill the space we had and I saw these guys over 6ft crammed in their seats.
The flight was thankfully uneventful and the landing was so gentle that the kids didn't even realize we were on the ground and we were even half an hour early.
Immigration was a breeze, as I was allowed to go through the American Citizen's line and our luggage was one of the first off the carousel. Customs was also easy, although, why they had to confiscate my English apple is beyond me.
We were so excited to be through all the formalities and were ready to walk into the arms of our loved ones - only to find out they weren't there!!! We knew they might be late as they couldn't pick the rental van up until 7am and Chicago is a 5/6 hour drive. But within 15 minutes they came rushing in. We saw them first and the kids with me just went running. I would have done, but someone had to stay with the 3 carts of luggage, right?! Oh, but how good it felt to have Gary's arms surround me and hold me tight and to see my boys and to hug and kiss them. Our family was together again and it felt so good!
We started our long journey home and even though the kids who had travelled were exhausted they did not let sleep take away from their time to catch up with their brothers. We stopped to eat dinner, which took 2 hours, and afterwards insisted that they sleep - Elaina hadn't napped all day, so by this time she had been awake 24 hours. But when we crossed into Missouri they were all awake again. By midnight we were back at Gary's Mom's house and ready for some serious sleep.
The Lord gave us an incredible journey home, stress was minimal and the reunion was sooooo sweet.
Since Friday we have been staying at Gary's Mom's, but today we move. We are going to be renting the same house that we left almost 2 years ago. This won't be a permanent move as we are unable to adopt at this location, but it will give us time to regroup as a family as we continue to seek the Lord's will for our lives.
Michelle.
I was a little concerned that we could be standing, waiting for hours but within a minute of us arriving in the line the security check points were set up and we were moving through. American Airlines opened up their check-in desks at 5am. One of the reasons we went so early was to try and sort out the seating situation. Because we had bought 5 of the last 6 seats on the flight our seats were spread throughout the plane. I asked the lady at the check in if we could sit together and she assured me that would be sorted out by the time we reached the departure gate.
Next, we moved through security and were sitting down in the departure lounge, eating breakfast by 5.35 am. We still had over 3 hours before the departure gate would open so the kids either napped, read or played with Lego (we have learnt to take a carry on case full of Lego whenever we fly - helps to pass the time)
At 8.55 our gate opened up and we wondered over. It was wonderful to have plenty of time and not be rushed to get anywhere. Upon arrival at the gate we discovered our seats were now together, but it wasn't until we boarded we realized the gift we had been given - we had the front row of seats in the coach section, so there was no one in front of us! I didn't have to worry about the kids knocking the seats in front and we had the freedom to move about and stretch out. I did feel a little guilty when my 5ft 4in frame couldn't stretch far enough to fill the space we had and I saw these guys over 6ft crammed in their seats.
The flight was thankfully uneventful and the landing was so gentle that the kids didn't even realize we were on the ground and we were even half an hour early.
Immigration was a breeze, as I was allowed to go through the American Citizen's line and our luggage was one of the first off the carousel. Customs was also easy, although, why they had to confiscate my English apple is beyond me.
We were so excited to be through all the formalities and were ready to walk into the arms of our loved ones - only to find out they weren't there!!! We knew they might be late as they couldn't pick the rental van up until 7am and Chicago is a 5/6 hour drive. But within 15 minutes they came rushing in. We saw them first and the kids with me just went running. I would have done, but someone had to stay with the 3 carts of luggage, right?! Oh, but how good it felt to have Gary's arms surround me and hold me tight and to see my boys and to hug and kiss them. Our family was together again and it felt so good!
We started our long journey home and even though the kids who had travelled were exhausted they did not let sleep take away from their time to catch up with their brothers. We stopped to eat dinner, which took 2 hours, and afterwards insisted that they sleep - Elaina hadn't napped all day, so by this time she had been awake 24 hours. But when we crossed into Missouri they were all awake again. By midnight we were back at Gary's Mom's house and ready for some serious sleep.
The Lord gave us an incredible journey home, stress was minimal and the reunion was sooooo sweet.
Since Friday we have been staying at Gary's Mom's, but today we move. We are going to be renting the same house that we left almost 2 years ago. This won't be a permanent move as we are unable to adopt at this location, but it will give us time to regroup as a family as we continue to seek the Lord's will for our lives.
Michelle.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Home
Just a really quick note to let you know that we made it safe and sound.
Thank you for all of your prayers - it was an incredible journey and I will fill you in on all the details soon - but not today. Today I am going to spend my time enjoying those I have missed so much :)
Michelle
Thank you for all of your prayers - it was an incredible journey and I will fill you in on all the details soon - but not today. Today I am going to spend my time enjoying those I have missed so much :)
Michelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)