Taking a Look Back at Summer

Well, it is Labor Day weekend here in the US (the end of Summer) so I thought it would be a good idea to update our slideshow (on the right sidebar) with some pictures of what we got up to over the last 3 months.

If you would like to take a look at a larger view of the slideshow please click HERE.

Michelle

True Contentment - My Conclusion

So what have I learned through this experience of examining my life through the lens of true contentment?

I have discovered that most of my periods of discontentment were born out of sin. Whether, jealously, as I see a pregnant woman; envy as I long after that bigger home, dream vacation, or just plain disobedience as I say to God “I don’t want what you have planned for me”. I say most because I do believe God can cause us to be discontent in order to lead us to action. For example, we can be discontent with a political or social situation that will cause us to act for change.

I am learning that when I am discontent with a situation I need to go to God and ask Him if it is because I have already sinned (and therefore need to repent) or will do so if I don’t follow where He is leading. In many places throughout scripture we are told that if we turn to Him and seek Him first, He will direct our paths. He knows what’s best for us.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 48:17-18 This is what the Lord says, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

When I look at some of the saints that have gone before, I am ashamed at my selfishness in my desire for an easy life. The apostle Paul suffered so much in his life yet in Philippians 4:12-13 he says "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

I really believe that part of that secret is that contentment cannot be just a feeling it has to be a choice. In the same way that we chose to love our spouse through the tough times of our marriages, so we need to choose to be content, in Christ, through the tough times. James tells us in Chapter 1 to "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I think the primary part of the secret of contentment is knowing Christ. Paul could be content because he knew his Saviour and therefore trusted Him. I have also found that the closer I am to Christ the more content I am in my circumstances. I need to love the Lord my God, with all my heart soul and mind. To be ready to daily pick up my cross and follow Him. Not always easy, not always fun, but there is a deep, deep contentment in knowing Him.

Finding our contentment in an easy life is a sin – we need to find our contentment through our relationship with and obedience to Christ. With this I will always struggle but my desire is to continue to strive for a godly contentment.

Michelle

True Contentment - Finances

Finances - who has not struggled with this one? I definitely have.

When I accepted my life here, in America, I also wanted to accept, and obtain, the ‘American Dream’. I wanted a bigger home, vacations, more money. There is no other way around it but to acknowledge that I didn't (and don't) need those things. My desires were based in envy, I saw what others had and wanted it. I was sinning. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that. Wow! It amazes me every time I read that verse to realize how much God has given me and how rich I am. We, in the industrialized world want and expect God to provide so much. We need to be content with little and when we receive much we need to ask God why he has blessed us so abundantly and how does he want us to be good stewards of it. John Piper (in his book Desiring God) suggests that we adopt a wartime lifestyle, because as Christians we are at war. It is a spiritual war. Piper goes on to suggest that God gives us more so we can use our excess to fund God’s work.

While God has brought me a long way in my desire to be content with less I still have a long way to go and often find myself slipping back into discontentment as I desire what I see around me. I wish I had the courage and faith to pray like Agur did in Proverbs 30:8-9 "Two things I ask of you, O Lord, do not refuse me before I die. Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say “Who is the Lord?” Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

I know from my own experience that when I have had plenty I am tempted and often do stray from God, yet when I am in need I cling close to Him as a child who is desperate for their Father to provide. There is nothing like being in a situation where you are about to lose everything or where you don’t have enough food to feed your family to bring you back to God. The best part of all is that God is always faithful and always provides what we need (NOT always what we want).

About 3 years ago God starting changing our attitudes toward money and possessions. Gary had owned his own business for several years, but was slowly becoming more and more discontent, not because of a lack of money but he was thinking there had to be more to this Christian life than what he was doing at the time. He began to believe that God was calling him to serve Him in someway, but the concern kept arising of how to provide for the family. The Lord led him to Matt 6:31-33 "So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and you heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Gary knew that the Lord had a lot to teach him through these verses, but neither of us were quite ready for the changes that would follow.

So far the Lord has led us on an incredible journey and I am sure there is so much more ahead. One of my favorite verses in the bible is 2 Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him". This has certainly been true in our lives. This is not the place to go into detail about the amazing way God led us to join WEC (the mission organization we will be go to England with) except to say that you can find it on the left column of this page under “The Call”.

One of the things that the Lord used to lead us this direction was Christian biographies. We both read the biographies of George Mueller and Brother Andrew. I also read a book from Voice of the Martyrs about women in the last 20 years who have suffered for Christ. All these books really made Gary and I examine our lives. We became very discontented with the ‘normal’ life and now long to serve God. I want to make my life count for Christ. It isn’t easy leaving people I love, and a place I now call home. Some believe that we are leaving here so Gary can take me home. That is certainly not the case. When Gary told me we were going to England I cried. I didn’t want to go. If God was going to send us into missions, why couldn't we go somewhere different, somewhere new? It will be nice to be closer to my family again but, I no longer call England home as the country has changed so much in the last 15 years. I left there a single girl and return, to a totally different part of the country, a married woman with 6 kids. I don’t know how to live in England anymore. Even my Mum warns me about how much the country has changed and how I will experience culture shock.

I want to be obedient to God but have struggled coming to terms with leaving. I had life easy here. We owned a home on 38 acres (or at least shared ownership with the bank), Gary had the flexibility of his own business, we had two vehicles and more importantly a great church and wonderful friends. We no longer own our home, gave the business away, sold the truck and are preparing to leave church, family and friends, But God never said it would be easy. I have to constantly remind myself that I do not need to store up treasures (especially money and possessions) here, but treasures in Heaven, where they will last for eternity.

One of the books that has recently challenged me is “Hard to Believe’ by John MacArthur. In this book he really made me see that the Christian life is not just about calling Jesus our Saviour and then living life for ourselves. The words of Jesus from Mark 8:34-38 made me decide I want to be obedient to Christ, no matter what He calls me to do or how hard it is.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels" Mark 8:34-38

Part 4 Conclusion - tomorrow

Michelle

True Contentment - Infertility

Another area in which I have struggled to be content is with infertility. This has been a huge battle in my life, and to be honest one that I still fight occasionally. I know that God is in control of creating life Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. And I know that His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts not my thoughts, but sometimes I still ask why? It is not fair that millions of babies are aborted by mothers that did not want them, when I have desperately wanted to be pregnant. Often I’ve wondered why can they get pregnant and I can’t.

I recently was encouraged in this area. A friend shared that due to an illness she was told she would probably be unable to conceive, but each time they tried they conceived in the first month. After hearing this, the first thought I had was "Lord, why? They were told they probably couldn’t but did, yet there is no reason why we cannot conceive, yet in over 11 years we haven’t." Immediately afterward I had an amazing sense of peace as I really felt the Lord remind me that as much as he has opened her womb, He has purposefully closed mine, because that is not what He wanted for me. In that I have to be and am content … yes, occasionally I still struggle, but I can honestly say that I would not change anything in the way the Lord has built our family. He has blessed us by bringing us 6 wonderful children through adoption, for who I am so very grateful.

Part 3 (finances) - tomorrow

Michelle

True Contentment - Living in America

As I reflected on my adult life one of the first times I really struggled with being content was having to live in America. As most of you know I came to this country only to stay a year as a live-in-nanny. Then the story then goes that I met Gary and became stuck here. While I joke about it now – that was the way I felt (being stuck in America - NOT being stuck with Gary!!). For the first 2 years of our marriage I was very discontent in being in America. I longed to go home, longed to be with my family in a country I knew and understood. So, for a while Gary and I looked into moving to England. We got a British paper and looked for jobs. Gary was very willing to move … but I just knew that wasn’t what God wanted. I was discontent in my circumstances but God didn’t give me a peace about being in England either. Through prayer I came to the conclusion that God wanted me here.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

So after a couple of years of wanting my own way I finally surrendered my desires to God and vowed to make America my home and embrace whatever God had planned for me here. Little did I know that just about a year later we would start down the path of fostering and adopting children.

God's plans are so good - why do we ever doubt them?!

Part 2 (infertility) - tomorrow

Michelle

True Contentment

Last week I was given the privilege of speaking at the Ladies Banquet at our church. I was given the topic of 'True Contentment'. It was not a subject I would have chosen, but it was good for me as it gave me the opportunity to see in which areas of my life God has allowed me to be content. It also made me examine the areas of my life where I still need to find contentment in Christ.

Over the next few days I plan share on the blog some of the things I discovered.

Michelle

Something to Ponder

"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

Jim Elliot

Daniel

Four years ago Daniel was diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar and Intermittent Explosive Disorder and was placed on 4 different medications to keep him well. We were far from happy about him being on all this medication as we knew there had to be many side effects, but we did not have any alternatives. Then in the Spring of 07 I attended a homeschool conference where I listened to a doctor from the Pfeiffer Treatment Center who explained that they were able to treat many things like ADHD, Bipolar, depression etc with a combination of amino acids, vitamins and minerals. This excited me and gave me hope.

So just about a year ago we took Daniel to the Pfeiffer Treatment Center in Chicago where they performed over 180 tests to discover exactly what the problem was. After several weeks we had the results which showed he had a pyrrole disorder. Which, in short, meant he had too much copper going to his brain which caused the impulsive actions usually associated with Bipolar. They prescribed him specially made vitamins which he has been taking for the last year.

In April, after six months on these vitamins, he was retested and his levels were much improved. He no longer showed a pyrrole disorder and we have been able to begin the long weaning process of withdrawing him from his prescribed medications.

We began removing (with Dr.'s approval) his medications 3 months ago. We took away half a dose at a time and have only taken away another pill every 3/4 weeks. This has to be a slow process so he doesn't have any effects of withdrawal. So far he has been able to come off of the risperdal and lithium and he is doing incredibly well. We still have 2 medications (adderall and tenex) that we are hoping to be able to get rid of, but it all takes time. Not only is his behavior excellent, but we have also seen his mind beginning to wake up. His reading ability has improved and seems to have a slightly easier time in learning new concepts. Hopefully we will see more improvement as we try to take away the last medications. He is having a hard time going to sleep in the evening, but hopefully as we reduce his Adderall that problem will go away.

Daniel will have to continue to take his specialized vitamins for life. He will have to be tested every couple of years (or more often - depending on how he grows) to make sure the vitamin levels are right. This is a far better alternative than the normal prescribed medications with all their side effects.

We are so grateful to the Pfeiffer Treatment Center for all their help and to God for leading us to them.

Please continue to pray for Daniel. That we will be able to eliminate all the medications and that the vitamins and minerals will be sufficient to keep his body chemistry at a normal healthy level. Also pray that he will be able to get enough sleep. Thank you

Michelle

Grocery money

With the higher food prices, my grocery money didn't seem to go very far this month.

Last week I was counting how much I had left and was a little discouraged because I had no idea how I was going to make it stretch. I took my concern to God and amazingly the very next day we received a card in the mail with $50.00.

So thank you, friend and thank you Lord for your continuous provision.

Michelle

Sacrifice

Both Gary and I have been coming to terms this week with some of the sacrifices we will have to make by serving the Lord in England.

For Gary he has been coming to terms with the death of a dream. He has longed to take us to some of the most beautiful places in the US, but money has never been available to do this to date and with us leaving for England it is certainly not going to happen very soon. He was also hoping that when we got to England we would be able to travel around a little. Again that doesn't look like it will be possible as a vehicle will not be able to fit into our budget. This is hard for a man that has had a vehicle for over 20 years and enjoys to drive.

For me, it has been the size of our family. Yes, I know we already have 6 children, but my heart longs for more. There are so many here available to adopt, yet when we get to England our adopting days will be over as they have an age limit of 40 to be able to adopt. We are both nearing that age (Gary quicker than me!).

I know that neither of these are life or death issues, but we have both struggled to get to the place that we are willing to give them up. But, our lives are not our own anymore. They have been bought with the price of Christ's death and we owe Him our everything, including our dreams.

Michelle

Waiting

Last week we heard that the people at the Naturalization Office in the UK are taking 6-8 weeks just to get the new mail. So that leaves us waiting .... again.

This waiting is getting hard. All around we are hearing of others from our class at WEC who are leaving for their fields. One family has arrived in Texas ready to start language school on Monday, another has been in Spain for several weeks, yet another has a date to leave for Asia in the beginning of November. One family didn't even know where they were going when we left Pennsylvania, but this week end are travelling half way around the world to begin their service as missionaries. But still we wait.

Please, don't misunderstand me, we are enjoying the time we have here with friends, but being in limbo is hard. We know the Lord is able to bring about our paperwork quickly so we could be leaving in a couple of months or we could be here for another 8 months. It all depends on the paperwork, and yes, ultimately the Lord's timing.

Michelle

Unexpected Guest # 2

We had our first unexpected guest in June. Tonight we had another.

Again we had friends over for dinner (different friends this time), and the Dad went outside to play with the kids for a while. He was pulling Jeremiah and Deanna on a toy 4 wheeler when suddenly the wheel flew off. Jeremiah ran over to get the wheel and brought it back to our friend. In the middle of the wheel was a black widow spider. Thankfully our friend recognized it before Jeremiah decided to play with it!

I know God is watching over our children. Thank you Lord.

Michelle