Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Emotions

I have been asked to give an update on our preparations to move. So here it is.

Practically, we are getting there, albeit slowly. We have found flights that will work for us and will be booking them today - or at least transferring the money to the States today. We will purchase the tickets when the money arrives in the US as the company we are working with offers special prices for missionary and humanitarian work but in order to keep their prices low, charges the extra 3% if we pay by credit card.

We are still looking for a shipping company. The concern is not so much, how to get our things across the ocean, but choosing a company to transport the container from Durban, South Africa to Livingstone, Zambia. We also have to send our vehicle as we have been advised it will be cheaper than buying one in Zambia - with that comes the challenge of finding somewhere to load the van onto the container.

I have finally started packing. Due to having to rent a 20ft container (because of the van) we will be able to get more of our belongings shipped.

We are still looking for accommodation for when we arrive in Livingstone. Please pray that the Lord will provide that soon.

All our vaccinations are now completed - Praise the Lord!! I have to boast on our children for just a moment. They all did so well - out of all the vaccinations they received we saw tears only once.

So physically we are getting there. Emotionally - well, that's a lot harder.

Last week we spent time with some family and friends, enjoying each other's company and saying goodbye. That is not easy. And there is a lot more of that to come.

The biggest emotional hurdle that Gary and I face right now has been actually purchasing the flights. It is not that we aren't willing to part with the money, but we are struggling to make that final commitment. Once the tickets are purchased we know we are actually going. Going to Zambia; going to a country to which neither of us has ever been.

Looking back, the transition from America to England was relatively easy. Obviously I knew the country and culture well, and so did the family as we have visited many times over the years. BUT AFRICA!!! Hold on Lord, we don't know what to expect when we go there! We don't know the culture, we don't know our way around, we don't know much of anything.

Now, I realize I'm probably over reacting, but to be honest the thought of getting on that plane and flying into the unknown scares Gary and I and what makes it harder is taking the 6 children with us. We are so used to them coming to us and being able to explain why things happen, or what we need to do to get things accomplished - But I know I won't have those answers for them as I imagine we will feel lost when we arrive. And maybe that feeling will last for a long time.

It's also okay to go to a strange place for a vacation and finding it hard because you always come home from a vacation after only a short time. But this is no vacation. The Lord, in His wisdom, has only given us enough money for a one way ticket. Once we go we will be there for a long time. Livingstone will be home for us. Home in a strange place, strange surroundings, strange sounds, strange sights, hot temperatures (YUK!!) but still HOME.

Going is SO hard.

BUT... WE WILL GO!!

God has made it so clear that moving to Zambia is what we need to do, and so we will. He has shown us many times through scripture that we need to go. We have come from a place where 10 weeks ago we were struggling to find enough money for food, to a place where the Lord has provided abundantly and we now have enough money for our flights and shipping (which isn't a small amount for 8 people!!) And most excitedly, He has prepared our childrens' hearts for the work in Zambia. If we choose not to go, then everything we have tried to teach the children will be worth nothing. It is time for us, as parents, to lead by example and obey God - even when it's hard.

Christ sacrificed his own life for me, which makes complaining about leaving my comfort zone sound really pitiful!!!

So today we will book flights and in 22 days (March 4th) we will leave England, following Christ, trusting in Christ, knowing He holds the future in His hands -and His plans for us are GOOD.

A big thank you to all who have been praying for us, please don't stop now.

Michelle

3 comments:

C. Singh said...

Just for your encouragement, Africa is more welcoming than the UK, even for those who have never been there. I have now been working here again for the last three years, having worked before for five years at a stretch. So do not worry, you will soon get to love the place, people and culture. I have the following promises for you from His Word.

"I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter ...Isiah 45:2
See, I have set the land before you. Go in and take possession of the land that the LORD swore to...Duet 1:8

I am sure that as human we have fears - but the Lord gives us strength to overcome those. I live in a very troubled country in Africa, but I love every moment as I feel more loved and protected here under the hand of the Lord.

Take courage - God is going before you...

Adeye said...

Oh my goodness, dear friend, I have rivers of tears flowing. My heart is so deeply touched by your words...your honesty and your vulnerability.

Let me tell you, from one who KNOWS---Africa is AMAZING! If nothing else, you are going to fall head over heels in love with its people. There truly is no nation with people quite like the Africans. They will embrace you and love you like there is no tomorrow. Just you wait and see.

I KNOW this is so hard in the natural. I know it probably seems so surreal. I just am so certain in my heart that the Lord is going to bring comfort, bring joy, bring anticipation, and bring peace every step of the way. As He sends you...He WILL equip you with everything you need!

Know that my family is praying for you daily. We're interceding and trusting that God would make the crooked places straight, and make the mountains that stand in your way fall to the ground like dust.

Sending you a HUGE hug this morning. LOVED your posts yesterday too. I somehow missed it.

Love you, friend.

dragonfrye said...

I really like your blog! I'm glad I ran into it. I will be back to read more about your move.

Warmly,
Tina