Three years ago when Gary informed me that the Lord was calling us to England I didn't have the reaction that you would probably imagine. Instead of rejoicing, I cried. Not tears of happiness, but tears of expectant pain. I had known what it was like to leave my family and to miss them, and while part of me wanted to be near them again in England, I also knew, deep down, that we wouldn't be staying here forever and would therefore have to go through the pain of leaving again.
My tears did not last long as that initial pain turned to joy when I imagined the times I would spend with them. This last year has been full of joyful occasions including meeting my 3 year old nephew for the first time last Easter and seeing my niece when she was just a week old.
We have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know these new members of the family, as well as spending time with the 'older' ones.
BUT, now it's time to leave again. Time to feel the pain that 3 years ago I knew would come. Time to cry whilst realizing how precious it is to have a family that you love and that loves you.
A couple of weeks ago, I said goodbye to my brother and his family. Yesterday it was my sister and her family and next week I will go through this again as I say goodbye to my parents.
Why do I put myself and them through it?
If I want to be obedient to my Heavenly Father, then I do not have a choice. He has clearly called us to Zambia and we need to go.
Yesterday I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future".
So, amidst the pain I have so much peace in knowing that my Father's plans for me are the best - and I wish to be nowhere else but in His will.
Michelle
5 comments:
I'm not looking forward to next week at all, but only feel a fraction of the pain you do. I am very pleased you are doing our Father's will and even more pleased that technology is what it is. We love you guys and are praying for you. Lots of love, Amy xx
Praying that there will be unexpected joy amongst the pain. Your willingness to follow Jesus no matter the cost is inspirational. Thank you for being so honest about what that's really like.
Praying for you!
My dear friend--my heart aches for you. I KNOW the feeling all too well. I so completely understand every raw emotion you are feeling. It just about rips your heart in two. I feel that way every single time I see my family, but know that soon I will just have to leave them behind again. Goodbye's are so painful.
I know the Father will carry you through this. I know He will heal your aching heart. He's so amazing like that.
WE ARE PRAYING!!!!!!
I cannot wait to see the doors that are just waiting to be opened on the other side--such RICH treasure awaits you, dear friend.
You guys are AMAZING...do you even know that ;)
Gary it's been great working with you even though we only met up a few times. Always remember our conversation at Bulstrode about God's leading over coffee break! I know you are going to have an amazing time in Zambia.Both stretching & fulfilling. Go for it brother. Mike
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